Making Time for Friends When You’re in Your 30s

It seems as though everyone my age is celebrating five year marriage anniversaries, getting pregnant intentionally and doing other things I can’t relate to in my thirties. It’s like everyone else is on this train to maturity and I hopped off early to putter around and treat my dog like a human baby. And what’s weirder, I find it more difficult than ever to make time with friends in the same boat as me.

Single Friend Life

My friend Ashley and I are both single dog moms who prefer to sit at home and watch documentaries than explore Lansing night life and meet another turd who will disappoint us (although there are some good ones out there..)

How do Ashley and I end up making time for each other? Our quarterly botox appointments. If you had no context for our excitement and countown for our appointments, you’d think we were heading off on vacation or something more entertaining than sticking our faces with needles. But it’s our time to catch up on each others’ lives in person rather than a quick text–and keep looking young and fresh.

Before or after, we’ll grab coffee or a bite to eat before we head home and it’s always a delightful,  relaxing day. And sometimes this the best way to nail down another lady date before the next botox appointment. Ashley, looking forward to our pizza and dog night tonight!

Making Time for Friends Tips

I find that there are a handful of ways to see the people I care about when they have shit going on like me or a kid at home to keep alive. A few ideas below:

Take a fitness class together. My friend Gabe will always be at a FLEXcity Fitness class and I know if I show up to an early class, I’ll be reunited and this reminds me that I need to tell her to book a personal training session with me.

Find an event and plan ahead to attend. Whether it’s a concert or festival, I appreciate the time I have with my friends when we can get on the same page and plan on attending an event together. This is when we can get more friends together at once!

Schedule far in advance no matter what it is. I feel like an asshole, but sometimes I have to look ahead a month to find time to plan lunch or dinner with a friend and that’s just how it works at this stage in my life–and my career-focused friends’ lives.

Don’t get butthurt if you don’t hear back. This isn’t so much a tip to make time for friends, but a reminder that everyone seems to have too much on their plate and we need to be flexible with our friends and keep being persistent. I’ve been on both sides of this so I know how annoying it can be on either side, but it’s important to remember they’re not trying to piss you off, they’re just trying to survive another day like you.

Crop pants from Target | mules by Dolce Vita | jacket by Blank NYC | bag by Stella and Dot

Photography by Ashley Steffen