How I’m avoiding FOMO, addressing anxiety and having more fun this summer

I got an email last week inviting me to Chicago to attend Lollapalooza, wear MSU gear and explore the city with Matt and I jumped at the opportunity. Of course, I had to rearrange some plans and lose a lot of sleep, but I made it work, but could only commit to one day of Lollapalooza. I thought oh that’s plenty for me and later that day, I felt a wave of anxiety and sadness that I was missing Kacey Musgraves, Death Cab for Cutie and the overall experience of staying longer downtown Chicago with Matt.

I realized that maybe the first real feeling I’ve had with FOMO. I normally feel JOMO (joy of missing out.) I hate crowds, big cities, rushing around and losing sleep, but for some odd reason, I wanted to experience every single moment of it. I’ve given myself some mental exercises to work through some of these feelings because I’ve been feeling more anxious and experiencing more FOMO lately. Here’s what I’ve addressed feelings of FOMO and anxiety this summer:

Take time to understand your triggers and feel your feelings

Whenever I feel anxiety approaching, I either mentally bullet point or write down everything that might be bothering me, and I think through the triggers and how I can fix it, or recognize if it’s out of my control.

I can always meet a deadline or finish a project or ask for help, but I can’t help if someone doesn’t like me and I have to let myself think through these and recognize what I can control and what I can’t. I find that my anxieties are calmed by giving myself time to think, process and journal on what’s causing me those feelings of anxiety.

Identify friends and family you can talk to

Talking through my anxieties and stresses help me process and bring some relief. Matt is great because we have entirely different personalities and perspectives. My mom is the other person I call and bother often since we have many personality similarities and she can relate to my feelings for the most part. Identify a couple people in your life you can chat with and whether it’s venting or asking for advice, it’s been helpful for me.

Realize you might not be missing out at all

When I was upset about missing Lollapalooza, Matt reminded me of who I am as a person and what makes me happy, and it ain’t four days of drunk crowds and late nights and being away from James. Talking it out with a loved one, realizing I’m not actually missing out and thinking through solutions to not feel this way has helped. For example, I know that I’d like to go to more concerts and see bands I truly enjoy and so I’ll be looking up concert dates (smaller venues that make me happy!)

Know you can’t do it all

It’s an odd balance for me because I easily say no to every social function, but can never turn down a photography job or a blog collaboration that excites me even if it’s almost unmanageable with my time and availability. Maybe you’re the type who over commits to social functions and activities but feel constantly burnt out. It’s time to recognize that you can’t fit every single thing in, appease every single person and make every extra buck. Your mental health (and mine) is worth more than a couple extra dollars or social media praise (I have to remind myself often of the money part and struggle with this.)

Recognize what’s fun for you

It’s all about taking time to mentally process what’s actually fun for you. For me, being on the constant go is a nightmare and this week has been both a nightmare and a dream to head to Detroit for the democratic presidential debate and then take a mini vacation with my boo Matt in Chicago.

But this nonstop week means I need downtime next week and saying no to things even if I do want to do them. I need some home time and alone time plus some other activities that bring me energy. Even with this whirlwind trip, we fit in some down time at the hotel, exercise and great meals together with good friends–all of which energize me.